A couple of weeks ago I wrote about an embarrassing videotape of Barack Obama speaking at a party for Palestinian activist Rashid Khalidi. Well, Khalidi’s done it again by joining an appeal to raise funds for an American boat that will try to break the blockade of Gaza. And just in case anyone might fail to see the connection, they’re calling the boat “The Audacity of Hope”.
FresnoZionism.org has obtained a top-secret transcript of a recent telephone conversation between the President and Khalidi. Although we journalists — like the LA Times, which still keeps its tape locked up — must protect our sources, I can guarantee that in some possible universe every word of it is entirely accurate:
Barack Obama: Ahlan Rashid!
Rashid Khalidi: Barack! Good to hear from you. Why don’t you come over for some of Mona’s hummus, like you used to?
BO: Well, you know. I have to be careful of my associations. Those right-wing neocon Zionist bloggers would have a field day if I did that. Which is why I called…
RK: You mean you want me to whack some Zionists? Just say the word, Barack. I’ll give Marzook a call. Itbach al yahud —
BO: No! Don’t do that. But actually, it does have to do with the pesky Jews.
RK: Al-Yahud qalab’na! We know how to handle them. Just fire some rockets into Montgomery County. I can —
BO: Please. I’m in enough trouble already. Why do you have to call your Gaza boat “Audacity of Hope?” You might as well name it “Barack’s Gaza Love Boat.” Here I am trying to make the Jews forget the fact that my administration has been the most anti-Israel one since 1948 — before the midterm elections — and you drag me into this!
BO: But I thought the Zionists had ended restrictions on consumer goods… and even the UN thinks there shouldn’t be any more flotillas.
RK: Bah. Everybody knows that the UN is dominated by the Zionists. Look at how the Goldstone report accused Hamas of firing rockets at civilians!
BO: Well, anyway, this makes me look bad.
RK: Barack, you are not thinking right. There are huge shortages in Gaza. Like four-inch steel pipe. We are entirely out of four-inch pipe! And we need ball bearings — how are we expected to create local industry that can launch — er, export — its products without these things? Not to mention the need to send our people to Iran for terrorist training — I mean, vocational education.
BO: Now Rashid, you know how I feel about the Palestinian cause. That’s why you supported me for the Senate, and then for the Presidency. But can’t it wait until November?