— Good morning Mr. President!
— Morning, Pete. What’s happening today?
— Well, your calendar says “election over, screw Zionists…”
— Oh, right. The Zionists. Well, tell them that they have to get out of ‘Arab East Jerusalem’. Don’t they know that ‘settlements are illegal under international law’ and that ‘the Palestinians want East Jerusalem for the capital of their state’?
— Great sound bites, sir!
— Thanks, I’ve been reading the New York Times and listening to NPR. By the way, we have to do something about illegal immigration.
— Illegal immigration? That hasn’t been one of your issues…
— Just look outside! Look at all of those people milling around!
— Er, those are newly-elected Republican Congresspeople, sir. They’re checking out the offices.
— Oh. Too bad we can’t deport them. Look at that guy over there… he looks like some kind of leader.
— Yes sir, that’s Eric Cantor, he’s Majority Whip now.
— Cantor… sounds like a Zionist.
— Yes sir, I’m afraid he is.
— Well, let’s get going on our work. Have that annoying woman at State tell that Bubbi or Bibi or whatever that… what’s that?
— There’s an Islamic delegation waiting to see you, sir. They say it’s important. They say that we can’t stay here…
— Can’t stay in the White House? Are they crazy?
— They say it’s a mosque, sir. They say it’s always been a mosque.